Hustle Harder or Take a Break
One says to hustle…
One says take a break
One says you can put in the work and achieve …
The other says you are enough and fulfilled where you are.
One says include coffee and a workout in your routine,
While the other says include time in prayer and investing in others.
I looked at my nightstand the other day and noticed the stark difference between the 2 books I have been reading.
I can’t think of a better way to describe this season of my life in 2020. I’ve felt these emotions and juxtapositions at different points in my life but it’s been a 2 week period not 6 months.
I can’t sit here and pretend like it’s easy to be fulfilled and not fall into the trap of consumption. Especially in business school we are in the rat race of who can get the internship or job first at the better company. And while we may not intentionally think that, we ask, “how is the internship process going? Where are you working post grad?”. We ask these questions to figure out if we are doing enough compared to our peers. As much as I love being ahead of the competitor, being innovative and asking “what’s next?” What if it’s okay to not constantly strive for the next best thing. In our world that is overworked and focused on consumerism, it is hard to do the opposite and just be.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I would drop everything and move to Nicaragua, but is that realistic? I can’t pretend that companies don’t fail and that the job market can do a total 180 overnight. And if I don’t have a good job that pays well, how can I pay to move to Nicaragua?
But as I’ve traveled, I noticed a difference. While the Eiffel Tower lights twinkled and light up the whole city, Paris was filled with darkness. A lack of God. It felt like a dark cloud was there. It felt harder to pray and concentrate. Whereas Nicaragua was beaming with light. The love of the Lord was so evident and no one cares what clothes you wear.
Can I be these 2 very different people at once? The girl who is obsessed with fashion and Nordstrom but yet at the same time, live in no makeup and sweaty hair in Nicaragua?
I wish I had the answers and I think it’s something I’m going to continue to fight internally.
Ultimately, I know there is a right answer but I can’t seem to let go of the other as I tend to fall into the consumerism trap.
Thanks for reading my shambly and random thoughts. Until next time,
xo,
Megan
